This entry is in loving memory of my grandpa, Bill William Braune "Pop."
11/29/2006 "Sprout your wings and fly home, we'll see you again" Much Love.

Things haven't been to great lately. My grandpa has been fighting for his life for years now but, he decided for himself that last Thursday he was done. He was taken off everything that keep him alive and is now falling into an abyss of depression and death. It's getting to the point that my dad doesn't even want me to go see him anymore because he's that bad...

It's too sad to talk about- New layout, hope you can enjoy it. I really love it, especially the colors and John Mayer. He makes me happy. But not as happy as Kyle gets me (;

School is good.
Start my internship December 16th.

This past week and the current week have feel through the floor for me. It isn't like things are that horrible but I just can't get over how things haven't been smooth. Can't go to Murray with Kyle anymore because I have a test and he's leaving Wednesday. I can't see my grandpa because he's in the hospital and hospitals make me very uneasy and distressed. He also had surgery and is doing... ok. My work schedule has placed me in situation where I am holding my own even with two other employees (they just don't care to help out or I close with irresponsible people) being there. My parents have been pretty depressed and stressed from this whole situation with Pop. I've just wanted to go out and enjoy myself with my friends but that isn't happening- lately. I dunno- I KNOW that these things haven't been that horrible things, but when something major bothers you, everything gets deep under your skin.

I guess today has been ok, Chef patted me on the head and made me know that he was proud of me consistently by saying:
Chef: "Who did this dish!"
Myself: "I did, Chef.
Chef: "Well it looks fabulous.
That is just an over-all good feeling to have, especially on a bad day- it just kind of boosted me up a bit from the way I had been feeling. Though our internships haven't been placed and that is till in the air, I can't tell you really how I think on that whole subject. Whether I am bothered, or just- nervous in general. I was also trying to put a pair of tongs up today and well, lets just say the place where the tongs are held is more than 2 feet above my head so that means- I can't reach it. I jumped and jumped and finally got it up there. Rich congratulated me on my success (how lame) and I walk into the class room with everyone applauding (note that in our kitchen, we have an open window to the dinning room (so that people who are eating can see the cooks and chefs) and everyone from my class was sitting in there waiting to be dismissed). It was pretty humorous given the circumstance and the fact that I am only 5'1. I guess I accomplished something today.